OKAY HI,YOU,DRINK THIS ALL IN.
Standing on the rooftops,
Everybody scream your heart out.
THE WRITTEN WORD
Tuesday, October 26, 2004, 10:34 PM
red an white buses running on 55cents per wheel.
to spin.
argh. the results thing is totally eating at me.
2more days till i tell my parents.
3. 2. anything.
anything to stop. this. and.
hurts to breathe. breathe to hurt somemore.
Friday, October 22, 2004, 9:58 PM
"now if i take what he gave me and i, use it right
in other words if i listen and use the light
then what i say will remain here, after i'm gone
still here, on the strength of a song, i live on"
(lyrics co. DMX)
i dont HAVE to listen to you, to prove that you are sane.
and guess who's NOT??
so i wont.
i wont listen, i wont heed, i will fear. i dont know what
no more comments bout what YOU THINK of everything, what YOU THINK OF ME.
cmon, hear, what I think of YOU,
is.
i dont even think abt you anymore. now that's a lie.
i REFER TO EVERYONE.
every friend, every best friend, every enemy, every non-speaking-terms 'friend' as well.
CAPTIALS ROCK.
AND YOU DONT. HOWDY HAR HAR
guess who's gna be bitchier when you get bitchy.
try
1)me 2)me 3)me 4)me
cam whore day din reap much results. maybe it's the cause for all this. but then again, it might be you.
hang me.
and i'll live on.
it rains inside her head inside inside her head inside
it shines too bright into her eyes into inside.
you try to bleed but it's too dry inside
inside
inside
wonder what's inside inside, really inside
beneath those lies, thick, no gaping holes in sight
then your love is a joke. the beep you hear on your handphone,
brrbrrr. the vibration you THOUGHT you felt.
the temporary FAST FADING euphoria
you get when you thought someone cared
when someone loved you. love is a joke
the person's playin a joke on you, you gotta take it. so play a joke on him, back.
love him back.
thenyour love's my stripey-coloured pencil box. too bright, 7colours &none of them's black.
14 zips to open, same ONE gaping space inside
when you come to realize that [[openin one zip is ENOUGH]]
you fall thru the slits of space you opened
too late.
dear you,
i fear that what i wanted is coming true after all. when i sleep, i hate slipping the dream catcher onto my neck, veins pulsating unknowingly, hate being vulnerable to bad dreams. they grip me, the only time when i cant control myself, or what's gna happen. a piece of bead slipped into that dewy thread of plastic, strung on along with other colourful beads. they ae so bright that you fade into the background, and no one can see you cry. beads dont cry, that's just an metaphor silly. okay i'av got to eat my dinner, dear you, so wait till when i come back, and continue this letter im writing for you, okay? which might be forever, but i pray that you'll live on forever, as i really need someone who can receive this, and know how it is for me.
thank you,you, may i be back soon so you wudnt have to wait so long.
Thursday, October 21, 2004, 10:02 PM
something i had scrawled onto my winnie-the-pooh pages. untidy.
chaos created love by ripping out the (his,her?) nail, little finger, but i wudnt go into the gory details-- pain.
not completely unfamiliar, when it's so near. too near.
love is not there w/o that bitter sourish bite, warmth that spreads about skin when you blush--- painfully.
the beautifully formed blemish, just there and you cant get rid of it cause you dont want to. your up and working reality call.
it's not gonna let its presence go unheard, nono it wont, why dont you unblock those ears, &hear the sharp withdrawal of breath resounding in that grey matter of your head
again and again?!
why dont you allow yourself to get drawn in as well, caught up with the space brimming with unseen wavelengths differing from something unseen to something else unseen?
it's crucial that you did, i want you there. because im there. and im ALONE. (if that means anything)
i need you with me, with the little pink specks of love (printed all over their swollen chests [with pride])
because crippled feathers cant fly.
avoid that hovering black cloud, haze.. smog. entwined with toxic -blacker- gases, names ranging from failure1, to failure100, called FAILURE. it makes you fail so bad, you'll forget that sweet tasting candy lump-- success.
down, crumpled will be your maths and before you know it, get thrown down into this abyss so dark, with a gate closed with a clang. all sealed up like a ziplock bag performing up to standard.
claustrophobia is getting popular, no doubt.
the papers will have strokes of black ALL OVER
black is hindering my sight
black's a colour, so black's COLOURFUL. dont say im wrong, dont paint me black all over, when black's all i am
and my parents will be coloured with shades of disappointment, hanging loosely like a noose about to be tightened, around my neck
faces all crumpled.
dont leave me to be the black mass to be me.
im afraid of pain, im afraid of failurpointment, black the colour i taste,
love. deadly combination of them all.
im afraid of me, because i feel them. not anymore, but still i do.
time for tv. and consider whetha i shud stay, unmoving, in my home tomorrow, or risk getting out to get shot.
tv's ended. I HATE YOU.
i sneaked 2 batteries from my brother's clutches, howdy har har and it's CAM-WHORE DAY tomorrow!!! whoa FINALLY. it's fantastic, i only hv myself. watch these rolling eyeballs in action! shud i risk steppin out into the wilderness and......
fuckenning. im not bowing down. HELL YA.
see you tomorrow, peeps.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004, 11:16 PM
with every breath i take
it'll bring me deeper
so much deeper
into the abyss i call
out-of-love
it hurts to breathe
feels so much like
claustrophobia
it's time i lost my grip.
sumthng that came with an image which will be too big for village photos to post.
:shakes fists::
ahh wells. blame me for hvin em on such a sucky site.
today was a sucky day, my marks rangin from
fuck-it-baaad-man to what-the-fuck-dammiittttttt
terrible. zoomin in into details will not work out.
arghhh whattehfuck my exams r like SHIT. worse. UBER SHIT.
i need to work things out ((those that r needed to be worked upon)) OR just die now.
mhmms. picky picky me.
Thursday, October 14, 2004, 8:42 PM
Lyrics... title i cant rmbr. sung by a david.. sumthng. very nice lyrics. LISTEN.
Meet me on the other side
Meet me on the other side
I’ll see you on the other side
See you on the other side
Honey now if I’m honest
I still don’t know what love is
Another mirage folds into the haze of time recalled
And now the floodgates cannot hold
All my sorrow all my rage
A tear that falls on every page
Meet me on the other side
Meet me on the other side
Maybe I oughta mention
Was never my intention
To harm you or your kin
Are you so scared to look within
The ghosts are crawling on our skin
We may race and we may run
We’ll not undo what has been done
Or change the moment when it’s gone
Meet me on the other side
Meet me on the other side
I’ll see you on the other side
I’ll see you on the other side
I know it would be outrageous
To come on all courageous
And offer you my hand
To pull you up on to dry land
When all I got is sinking sand
The trick ain’t worth the time it buys
I’m sick of hearing my own lies
And love’s a raven when it flies
Meet me on the other side
Meet me on the other side
I’ll see you on the other side
Honey now if I’m honest
I still don’t know what love is
[[EDIT]]
before i think back now and then
together let us await the end.
at least i came up with sumthng. okka.... like. 2 lines. HAHA.
*gets the major rollies
tomors the watch-zhilin day.
MIGHT also be the cut-hair day.
it is also the end-of-exams day.
as well as the dread-the-results-day.
it could even be the, show-your-charcoal.esttt-face-and-no-one-will-notice day.
tomorrow's gonna be big.
it's time we get to set things straight
no truths are served out on the plate
it's time we tried to tie up the ends
deleted memories that are past-tense.
i just ruined my entry, didnt i. ;\ blah. me and my uncanny ability to churn crap.
Friday, October 08, 2004, 7:13 PM
maths sucked... what more can i say.
nothing.
we went to visit audrey jst now, there was a lot of people.
we went to gwyn's hse to study sci.
ended up watchin our newly downloaded honey.......................... woahhh. she's good. ;)
so much better than good.
dancing rocks. ;\\\
wells. maybe one day i will not restrain my actions at all, then perhaps i.ll improve?
dancing in front of the mirror behind a locked door in the privacy of my room rocks. it minuses away the probing glances as well...
now that math's over, i cant help but to relax, though i dread receiving my maths &geog results... cosh they xiii.ed. sucked. i BET you a hundred bucks they got lower than 60............... dwahdwahla.
science is looming straight ahead.... betta make use of weekends TO THE MAX.
honey is inspiring. :))
straight aheadddddddddddddd.
Sunday, October 03, 2004, 7:02 PM
i invite you to dance
the night away; the ceremony
of having
flames licking at our feet
doused, just a matter of time
but then we shall not
sit and wait, left still our feet
we'll leap. briskly in saturated colours
startling the dull ones
join me...?
Saturday, October 02, 2004, 7:46 AM
lalala.
figured out that it's been a long time since i was here.
so decided to leave a note. (you can figure)
im not dead yet.
goodbye.