OKAY HI,YOU,DRINK THIS ALL IN.
Standing on the rooftops,
Everybody scream your heart out.
THE WRITTEN WORD
Sunday, May 28, 2006, 3:35 AM
our stars -- they drown in the seas with strangled hisses
so darling,we can't tack them back on
with glue with sewing threads
we can't tack them back on
like how we used to,anymore
the glass case binding me from worldly
affections,keep your eyes on me
__technical details
postprocessing: no blur added.
i'm getting the hang of focal depth:D
yay me
yt 1 ,functions-deprived camera 0
photoshop used only to add a hint of green.
the picture was initially too blue
for my liking
*basically the day was quite amazing
it felt queer to be walkin around by myself,but quite good.
definitely not lonely.i wonder,when will the
loneliness kick in.
giving the girl stars was definitely the highlight of the day!
joanne:&i miss you so too -
my junes are here,do holler,
we shall go out when youre free
;this missing has to go;
Friday, May 26, 2006, 11:12 PM
sometimes i wish humans would stop trying
to resurrect whatever has been buried,
stop spilling tears when they were
meant to well up from the inside
basically i wish we'd stop feeling.
eventually the pillar of mankind will
crumble at its sides,like rocks into sand.
only then can we be blown near the skies
;nestle among clouds.
last night,i shared my dreams with you
and for once; it wasn't me alone who wished
for you to come back.
we nestled among clouds,hoping to find
a shred of warmth,
hoping to find you but all there was was rain.
it was frightening beyond words.
_______________
AH,do allow me
i was pleasantly surprised by this one
it looked fine in the camera,but i had no idea
how much i'd like it.
it is untouched by photoshop except for framing
i never once was satisfied with a picture
without hvg to tweak the colours in some way or another.
this time round it just appealed to me too much
for me to change any part of it.
a stroke of luck;
so overexposed,not too blue,i find it
so gorgeous now.
then again.
maybe i'll nitpick at details the next time i see it,
but currently i only feel satisfaction,
let this euphoria last pls:D
this harbours an underlying meaning
,which gladdens me.
sheer satisfaction without
having to change to suit my tastes,
maybe, me as a person,i hve some hope too.
to be accepted as myself by myself
i like this.
&i hope you do,too<3
happy holidays.
Thursday, May 25, 2006, 7:52 PM
get all the darkness out of me in one breath.
once it was all out i'd cry tears nonexistent,
but no one would see them because
i'd have burnt them all away.
like the paper bag princess,
no one could see i was on my way
on a burning path to you
burnt ashes a deep cyan sheen,my tears
are always thought by me to be
blue.
blue ,deep,an everlasting well inside of me.
i can't help to only burn for you,ashes to
ashes,blue to bruises,
only for you.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006, 8:22 PM
i've given all that i've held dear,held on for,held on to
to people who scavenge for my heart.
weekends we shall go and take many pictures
ey.because i've lost the fight in me and
my camera's going
blind in the eyes we,together,have lost
sight of what we need.
maybe i need to take pictures of
you,and me,in the simei parking lot.
in bluish tinged lighting my camera can give
our atmosphere a dash of blue..
turn your back on me and i'll lock
the moment
away.
{forbidden,wait,no
but i'll be here.
stupidly,foolishly,but here.
i'll be here}
Sunday, May 21, 2006, 9:18 PM
top left,and bottom:low cheekboned anorexic
top right,yt's spasticated squishylip face.{yes i've taken to naming them now}
in simple terms,these are not intended
to look cute/pretty or anything unachievable.
.thereforee kindly refrain from critisizing my face to death
i'm trying out a new colour scheme,and layout.
so far,if i ignore my face
,it looks pretty good to me."D
i shan't be held responsible for any bad dreams tonight!
you hvnt seen the really good ones i pull yet
.these are like......like....gorgeousin comparison.HAH
technical details:
edited colours and framing.
no brushes added.
, 1:10 AM
i knew it.still,waiting is the only option. nthg else,no.
, 12:58 AM
walk away.
walk away,tread tiny steps while you leave
loud.resounding steps -
imma stay up until
until
because you said so,because i'm
hanging off your evry word
because
will you just?
or should i just.
dear yiting,do something about your burning toes,
speak love and show love,do love.yours forever,yi ting
Wednesday, May 17, 2006, 9:54 AM
i got most of my results back
&i had a startling revelation!
"i'm not.............dumb".
HAH im no genius
but definitely no whr near dumb.just plain-arsed lazy.
when i say im not dumb,i mean like..studies wise
bcus thr ARE countless times when i behave somewhat like a.
retard. O.O
uhs,so, i'm blur.
whsso bad about THAAT! hrrmph..
if youre expecting that i mustve had gotten good results,
hence arriving at the conclusion
that my IQ is not on a all-time low,
youre..wrong.
i scored badly this time.
i know,it's not the kind of revelation youll hve
aftr receiving the shit results i received ,
but most marks were deducted due to
1__)sheer carelessness
2_)poor time management.
3)just..plain slacking for too long last yr,and the few months of this yr.
howevr those things ive learned within
the short period of time before the impending exams,
,ive managed to get em right!
hah.my enthusiasm is..running out!
we shall all work harder for the prelims
,yes?....later. midyears are just over.
i need at least two weeks to simply hve fun:D
i doubt i'd reap much with a
heart so heavy.
:D:D:D
Tuesday, May 16, 2006, 11:28 PM
all that you've wanted from me -
have it, take it away,
i want it no more than you do
the stars we named are falling from the skies
in the most haphazard way ever
i hear rekindled spitting
sparkles and your voice.{they are too alike}.
our stars -- they drown in the seas with strangled hisses
so darling,we can't tack them back on
with glue with sewing threads
we can't tack them back on
like how we used to,anymore
the glass case binding me from worldly
affections,keep your eyes on me
after ceaseless banter,shouldnt my mind
stop speaking ill of me,
speaking ill of you,
of us.
do you know what those things
do to me?
of weekdays
,of schooldays
how frustratingly slow they are,
each pang of heartache is
drawn thin and long.
i found your name scribbled
on my pulmonary veins in an untidy script.
now you see why i treasure my body so.
[[Que Sera Sera,whatever will be..will be
the future's not ours to see
i saw a man chasing the stars,his wide eyes
shining from unshed tears
"It is futile," I said,
"you can never - "
"You lie," he cried.
And ran on.
Sunday, May 14, 2006, 11:15 AM
For so long I tried to reach you
I know I'm almost there
I'm close enough for you to see
You've been hiding in the shadows
Have you forgotten how we used to dream
Let me remind you
The light doesn't blind you at all
It just helps you see
Can you see
Yeah you have become
Yeah you have become beautiful
And I can't be the stranger
That's been sleeping in your bed just
Turn around and come to me
I feel all the pain inside
And everything you been denied you feel
It's all you feel
i'm reading it as though it is written for me,
and it helps that way.
i can;t make you out,this light
is blinding.
one step forward,two steps back.
and i'm overwhelmed by
feelings so extreme,
just like a child who wandered off a path
i'm frightened of being isolated,afraid that no one
will be able to take me seriously
,will no one believe distress of
such volumes.?
'what caused this,why?how.'
'don't know what,why,how'.
how can they when i can't myself?
am i imagining this.
every emotion i have is blown out of proportion
each burning nagging need exaggerated
i can't single each out,
have you evr ,evr evr felt
have you ever felt like one wrong step you take
can & will cause you to unravel./
{EDIT://
wait.now when i read what i've typed,
how can i believe that i will lose myself for good
if i make a mistake.everyone makes mistakes.
it doesnt make sense.stupid deluded girl.}
from hejun ive learned, im the master of myself,take charge
i've gotta,ive gotta
_______________________________________
it is a trying time,and i cant be giving up now
not when im fortunate enough to 've got people
who care and sincerely wish
me to be truly well and happy again
now i cross my fingers and wish so hard
that resorting to expression can speed up healing processes.
i want to learn your name.
Series: Blown Extremities
ex·trem·i·ty ( P ) Pronunciation Key (k-strm-t)
n. pl. ex·trem·i·ties
The outermost or farthest point or portion.
The greatest or utmost degree: the extremity of despair.
Grave danger, necessity, or distress.
A moment at which death or ruin is imminent.
An extreme or severe measure.
A bodily limb or appendage.
A hand or foot.
Friday, May 12, 2006, 1:45 PM
today there will be no sob story retelling the sad tale of how ive been all alone
to fend for myself agnst myself.
perhaps it may feel like tht at times,
i KNOW i'm not alone:Dslight curves,PhotoShop so minimal
NO BLUR ADDED.
i'm so pleased!my intention was for
the front to be completely out of focus,
&managed it aftr a few tries, despite how my camera
is unable to focus manually.
;for my girlfs,
my family,
&very few othr close friends
god,you guys are such good medicine for me
yes,change is inevitable,but changing for the worse
is not compulsory.
everyone has bad traits in em,
but i seem to dwell &thrive in mine
i'll try not to, with your help,
XOXO
Thursday, May 11, 2006, 8:24 PM
take# 1,take#2
take #3. take#me away
to me;my photographs like medicine to
appease hurt.dulled senses can't feel
{for a bad cold},a bad cold that lasts.
.for me
__taken just now,beneath my desklamp.
(that explains the lighting)
minimal photomanip - im learning to not be overreliant.
still,it doesnt change how
PS is part and parcel of making art in my eyes.
(good art is non-edited,natural...........bullshit,no offence.)
cross processing is non-digital editing.tougher, requires
more skill
,but editing, and 'non-natural' nonetheless)
feel colours.
i hve no inkling of how to save my pictures
frm the bad-arsed camera.
however suicidal i MAY look
,worry not, for i look that way
when i'm sleep-deprived..........
...ohhkay.
so i have issues.
Saturday, May 06, 2006, 12:12 AM
i dont think ive ever led a life so alone and without the constant
burning
need for anything else
.perhaps this is a form of a winding path of
self discovery,uncovering of more misdeeds
& i misinterprete
you dearly myself
cotten candy flossed pink in neat bows round
and round
sleep - the only anaesthetic that works
for now,my life has stopped veering in search
of any particular direction,or is it spinning too quickly(?)
seemingly,i hve put a halt to my
dreams,my wants,and your wants,your dreams
because they all aren't made known to
the world. yet.
{rest,while i await in the expanse of our blue sky,