OKAY HI,YOU,DRINK THIS ALL IN.
Standing on the rooftops,
Everybody scream your heart out.
THE WRITTEN WORD
Wednesday, August 31, 2005, 12:22 AM
You say you fell while holding diamonds in your hands
"It's your fault for running, holding diamonds," I said
And I offer no sympathy for that
I hear that it was you who died alone
And I offer no sympathy for that
Better off I sparkle on my own
And someday love will find me in the rough
Someday love will finally be enough
I turned around 3 times and wound up at your door
Now you say you know all you did not know before
And I offer no sympathy for that
I hear that it was you who died alone
And I offer no sympathy for that
Better off I sparkle on my own
And someday love will find me in the rough
Someday love will finally be enough
I got your love letters
I threw them all away
And I hear you think that I'm crazy
I'm driving 95
And I'm driving you away
And I shine a little more lately
Someday love will find me in the rough
Someday love will finally be enough
Someday love will find me in the rough
Someday love will finally be enough
I shine a little more lately
I can relate to this song so much
30thaugust babies, hve a good one.
&it's not even 30thaug anymor
Sunday, August 28, 2005, 10:09 PM
One day
I woke up,
made myself comfortable in the swivel chair
&placed my fingers on the keyboard.
only to realize that the alphabets on the keyboard
had been rearranged by gnomes while I slumbering deep
{how did I know? they left a Post-It of course.{
"ofdj ytsunf
nodkahy lvse tou psu wlselu"
Strangely, I could understand perfectly
&I immediately started to type.
promise you wont see this &think,
see she's at it again-
why the promises when promises don't count?
I promised to be truthful but
truth aint nothing when
words don't form
words don't form when breaths
rn't sucked in to fill the many little pockets
of emptiness: to fill my different
different personalities
but they are
all the same ;blown up by the same stale air
yet so terribly different
&unrecognizable,
so why can't you tell Me from
Me?
each time I fall apart I get pieced back together
by someone, something {pls accept my thankyous
everyone is imperfect in one way or another
so in an attempt to save me
those fallen pieces crudely are
glued back together
some pieces have lost their place
some just can't fit no matter how hard you don't try
some; unreachable so you replaced em
wiv something different
everytime I recover I'm somebody else
so who am I to blame anyone or anything
for having moulded me
;into somebody
I don't know anymore
everytime I say
"I'm okay I'm fine
How bout you? I'm okay I really am It's okay I'm fine
I promise I'll tell you when I need you I really am okay
I know you care about me but worry about yourself,
trust me I'm fine" ,I'm a little less.
________________________________________________________<________3
I left to sit around for a while
away from the computer this mad asskicking machine.
now that I'm back, I'm changed
&I'm no longer the angry girl who had something
to say now.
don't know who this time.
probably someone calmer.
someone.... who knows everything would still go
unheard anyway,
so this someone would not bother.
I'm okay I'm fine
How bout you? I'm okay I really am It's okay I'm fine
I promise I'll tell you when I need you I really am okay
I know you care about me but worry about yourself,
trust me I'm fine
The following day I woke up as usual
the jumbled keyboard's keys were still jumbled
lined in perfect disorder.
covering the letters 'P' 'F' 'D' 'J' 'S' 'W'
was another yellow Post-It, from the gnomes,
which I would never read to you.
, 9:52 PM
now,
the telly is showing us "home run"
the day I first saw it was
the day I had first seen you
-i think. shit i hate myself for hvin such a poor memory
hehh
{. you know I don't think much about you
anymore
somehow I don't bother anymore
but that doesn't mean it doesn't
hurt anymore =|
anymoreanymore do you fancy eating a s'more
&I need a new somebody to traumatize me LOLS
aint that just sooo silly.
dumdeedooomps! EMATH TEST TMMRS
stressing over studies is SOO redundant.
darnn i'm being stressed RELUCTANTLY
Saturday, August 27, 2005, 1:34 AM
near death experience
I;m thankful for my throat which is free of all foreign objects
lyk
prawn shells etc.
had just 4mouthfuls of my dinner
then my throat started feeling really raw when I swallowed
twas stuck thr in my throat
tried to gulp whtevr it was down wiv water
food too, cldnt cough it out as well
stuffed my whole index finger down my throat
but to no avail
&everything was just
bloody
&it hurt soo bad
was alr changin to go to A&E
but then
suddenly i jus wna try coughin agn so
coughcough HACKHACK cough HACK
COUGHHACKCOUGHHH
&then it was.
a small piece of prawnshell which looked lyk
a scale frm a fishy.
oofph.
ohh i hope sentosa outing isnt cancelled, but
even if it really is,
IKEA IS STILL ON.
cammie-ready
GWUN IM SORRY YOU HVTA WAIT FOR ME TO BLOG FINISH
hehh
btw I do not hve a pretty face
3 mor days to your birthday
strangely I remember counting down to your birthday
not too long ago, ohh it has been a year
it's devastating
,really
the time had just slipped away
am gladly letting it go forgotten
but cant help wantin to see you.
ain't I just too silly.
dumdeedoomps!
Tuesday, August 23, 2005, 8:28 PM
just look at this.
http://www.livejournal.com/community/beautyinmybones/
it almost made me cry.
feels as if I was seeing the girls dying right in front of me
the car is coming fullspeed down the road
wind rustling the leaves into icecream cones
you shout yell holler scream
slap their gaunt faces with thumbs &fingers
yet these girls wait
for their deaths to unfold with
manic grins on their faces
don't bother to say anything to em
they want to waste away
actually, they join the community to get slammed
for being fat
when they are a bag of bones
cus.
it's "motivation".
ughh. angers me so.
Sunday, August 21, 2005, 12:06 AM
what I want to do now
is to cut myself up
then clean blood off my hands
using your shirt.
;my last words being
"Here is something for you to remember me by."
suddenly thought of what's above when I was bathing
I think it's effing weird to be harbouring
such malicious (or just plain weird) thoughts
in the middle of a bath.
oh well-
had the idea to take pictures of toothbrushes too
but my cam was soo low on battery.
it irritated the. hell. out of me
threw a tantrum, whipping at whtevr I saw with
my towel.
weeeell what could you be expecting
a belt? or a whip.
no &no, my wet towel.
I was lashing out at the bed when my towel somehow got
hooked on the clothes hangar behind me.
the whole thing toppled onto me.
all these behind closed doors, of course.
if everyone at home could stop looking at me &look at me
properly.
intently.
probably they would be able to see through the locked doors
and everything else.
I am such a dork, really
Sunday, August 07, 2005, 10:18 PM
i'av got so many things
I can share
but ughh
step on my foot for waiting till now
;when I can't blog
charlie &choc factory
FIRST photoshoot {thanks gwun, yz, cals for being such great sports mwaah
-it's unplanned &impromtu-ed,
IM A TOTAL NEWBIEE &due to that fact so were you all,
I know it was my responsibility to make certain decisions which i didnt do well
due to my inexperience
but we had FUNN (i hope; i did!!) &i bet gwun had a decent time ;D
she was brave ¬ as shy as how I assumed she would be
whoo hooo
i hope the images come out okay
I'll learn &try to make full use of your {all of you} time the next time
This Lullaby
this morning I woke up in quite a bad shape
but what's important is that I feel inspired
now
I'm acting on it asap, before this fades away
along with everything which did
holding it tight indeed
this tuesday
place: haven't given it much thought yet
Doing; saving to spend on makeup clothes etc
prints
mags for inspiration
splurging on my models ehh lmao
but mostly impromptu
sorry if you can't understand all this gibberish
treating this entry as a reminder for myself
think nothing of it
I'm supposed to reach school at 6inthemorn tmmrs
ohh goodness
i wonder if this counts as a breakthrough.
modelling is quite a neat job.
I want to dabble in it for one series,
shame on me
firesparklers, different venues,
bathtub, water pshhh
numbering 1-6 circles
partner models
words in lines; rotate image
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DA MWAHHHKS
I LOVE YOU
Wednesday, August 03, 2005, 11:17 PM
fervently hoping
for a breakthrough
losing that :spring
in yourSTEPS
{ballet is a figment of our imagination
twirling us back to when
pointe shoes are what we eat
&noodles what we wear on our feet
-
see
my shoes look at my shoes
:-naked toes, pale & chubby like your baby's fingers
they are on fire
cigars in their mouths
{scorched by un;love
they lapdance down your laps,
twisting into the ugliest gruesome
contortions
;FEET
TOES
shoes I'll never own
NOo.
shoes I have which I'll never have to wear
;hold your breath
as I
make baby steps
down roads studded with glass shards
glinting precious stones swimming
in front of teary eyes
please hold your breath-
while I hold your hand just in case I fall.
what would you do for approval?
Don't tell me you don't spend your life seeking
after the major gegglqg oihgierhgi ity
im so so so sick &tired of hearing myself
go on about things no one understands
so so sick
you do? then tell me what you see in me