OKAY HI,YOU,DRINK THIS ALL IN.
Standing on the rooftops,
Everybody scream your heart out.
THE WRITTEN WORD
Sunday, April 29, 2007, 1:58 PM
i can't explain this damn emptiness.the very notion of 'withdrawal symptoms' makes me giggle!cus it 's so damn unbelievable
i feel better with that one song playing, it bring forth memories of ryan's lyrical jazz item
dance is spurred on by the very longing in my heart to be less bound.
pls, let the music play loud loud:)
drown the buzz of thoughts, individual words are hardly audible anyway.
Saturday, April 28, 2007, 2:04 AM
amazing time at yang's place with 1/2 of cjsyf team tday
watched two horror flicks,ate pizza for dinner - MEASLY SLICE
hoho i ended up eating dinner at hm aftrwards.
but.t'was so comfy lah! :]
TO DOs.
im contemplating chopping my hair off, to bangs & chopped locks.
(: someone pls talk me out of it if i don't snap out of it soon enough
i wnna read a good book.
score well at tests alongside good students.
have fun alongside partyanimals
reggae reggae w mabel & whoevr else!.
_
these are the stars,and us.
sajc band concert tmmr!
Thursday, April 26, 2007, 10:33 PM
i swear you dancers take it all away.
<3 ;this experience has been etched in 26hearts,
and i rly need to thank evryone, for their stubborn refusal to give up on any dancer in the team of 26,evry single dancer who was on stage that day - in ryan's words - breathing the same air.
spreading warmth that way ,by filling our lungs with the same cold air.
hello post-syf-days,how'll cj dance be like next wk!
hm..well, i cant wait for the next pract anws.:)
last night,my mind was filled with images of me not being part of this at all,coming to dance next wednesday
as a new member, a 2nd intaker amongst other 2nd intakers,awed by the your gold award,your experiences and tight tight bonds.
this is sheer gratitude in its most condensed form.
, 6:57 PM
lets not let silly disappointment tarnish the shine of gold.
remember how we planned for it, we worked for it, we got it.we did it
we decided on a gold as a goal ourselves,
'cus honours was too unrealistic a goal for us at where at we were then - too far from our peak.
time was running out - the number of full-out runs we could hve before THE REAL THING was dwindling..
howevr ,silver would mean letting each other down,wasting beautiful choreography+ music , disappointing lao shi & mrs koh,putting ryan to shame.
we ought to be genuinely happy
about our glittery shiny gold!(remember how we moannnned and sighed when mrs koh harped on how bro paul liked shiny and glittery things?)
we did it im so proud of aaaall of us.:)
damn proud of our flabby thighs,our mamasan costume which turned out to be cool aftrall! our helmet-fringeless hair,the guys' BEAAAUUTIFUL costumes, their kickass hair. we gave the j3s goosebumps,sm teared, deborah's mom got sucked into the dance,ryan was pleased.it took us 3months, 3 mths of hardcore chionging. this outburst of emotion is finally tangible, in simpler terms, we smaaacked that.
<3cj syf team.lets show this dance off to the sch at pac opening.
(and i'd like to apologize to my cjdancers ,my turns during 2nd song wasn't good, my balance was off.
i tried to make up for it by putting in my allALL ALL for 3rd song,
3rd song turned out to be the best i 've evr done,out of so many attempts
evryone was on beat at count 6, the canon was good.
but i can't rid myself of this sense of guilt.......m rly sorry about the lousy turns girls.)
Monday, April 23, 2007, 4:36 PM
all i want to do now is to
fall back in an empty grassfield,and feel less alone.
Sunday, April 22, 2007, 1:53 PM
hellobeee loveds!
ryan is so.damn.fucking.inspiring.
dance ,will you be my life?
but i suck:( dance, will you still be my life?
COUNTDOWN TO SYF: too damn near already.
lalalalaa.a.i seem to be running out of things to blog about
yknw all i can about think now is syf on wednesday,
ryan's awe inspiring solo tday
bio and math test nxt week(which ill most probably flunk due to the energyzapped me)
ive been 'ignoring' people of late.arrrrr i d'tknw smtimes
i get so devoid of energy i just..stop.& stare.
aftr this hectic period passes,
things'll become better!
Thursday, April 19, 2007, 10:38 PM
fan kick with straight leg
straight arms pls d't break elbows, d't break wrists.
keep your balance.last part needs to be so much more precise.
to reap,i gtta sow so much more.
cjdance i can't believe all this is gnna over within a few days
crazy crazy practices, halfruns full runs listen to music.imma miss all this when it's gone.
we with stupid short skirts will not be perturbed by the thighs beneath our skirts!
<3
gold and no less zomg no less.
vjdance i miss you girls!!<3 you girls,go wow the judges w amazingness!:)
sudd i miss s33 a lot.cus i was on the street and this guy was using his hp
asking his friend to buy 4d for him i think
he: yah.0033. 33. no........i said, 33!
HAHAH wth!made me miss y'all even more.
was it anthea who said(?) dancers must die on stage.
<3 i can't get my mind off this line.
Monday, April 16, 2007, 3:38 PM
tht tchr SUCKS BALLS I TELL YOU.
omg why did i take HCL in anglican high, and why did i not fail it?
get sm sense.why am i even subjected to receiving
these bouts of attitude from you,when im not even
your.
frickn.
student?
i've every right to retrieve my bag bcus.im.not.YOUR STUDENT.
GEE.
remind me to get evry belonging of mine OUT of the class bfor she steps in nxt time.
face it.
i nailed an a2 for HCL. (how i managed such a feat is still unknown though)
damn you i want my bag NOW.
(i think i pissed her off by slamming my pencil box and foolscap onto the bench outside the classrm.
omg if she comes for me i'mma spit at her man!
no,of courrrse not.ill just deny that it's attitude. they slipped from my arms and fell with a bang. so thr.)
, 3:37 PM
tht tchr SUCKS BALLS I TELL YOU.
omg why did i take HCL in anglican high, and why did i not fail it?
get sm sense.why am i even subjected to receiving
these bouts of attitude from you,when im not even
your.
frickn.
student?
i've every right to retrieve my bag bcus.im.not.YOUR STUDENT.
GEE.
remind me to get evry belonging of mine OUT of the class bfor she steps in nxt time.
face it.
i nailed an a2 for HCL. (how i managed such a feat is still unknown though)
damn you i want my bag NOW.
(i think i pissed her off by slamming my pencil box and foolscap onto the bench outside the classrm.
omg if she comes for me i'mma spit at her man!
no,of courrrse not.ill just deny that it's attitude. they slipped from my arms and fell with a bang. so thr.)
Friday, April 13, 2007, 4:02 PM
ughhhhh feeling so weak sucks
it's 4plus right now.
cj dancers probably dancing their legs off in audi ext!
approx 2wks to syf? man oh man,it feels like it's gnna just pass in a flash.
i hope i d't dance too badly tmmrs, aftr missing tday's pract :(
ryan'd probably show us the costumes tmmr.am i dreading it?
yes,unless it has been altered to look less mamasan-ish ,and less hard to dance in.
medicine 's working.hours of slp did as well.
i AM feeling loads better now.:)
thanks to all for concern
weeho got me a ticket for music fest in vj tonight.
i hope mummy says im well enough to go.
;[
_
Even though I’m scared I won't burn that bright
But you won’t know
You won’t know
You won’t know
You won’t know
BTW.I JUST REALIZED IT'S FRIDAY THE 13TH TONIGHT.
{plays eerie music}
Thursday, April 12, 2007, 11:26 PM
omg omg omg
stomach flu stomach flu stomach flu.
my body is falling apart .nooo not during this crucial period.ARR
missing school tomorrow ,it is contagious
shoooot:(
dire need to practise more.
rest tomorrow.stomach flu,will you pls go away.you make me feel like crap.
for saturday pract: 100% FULLRUNS,EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.nothing less.
my max{?} isn't even enough.anything less 'd be RLY insufficient.
dance practices are burning me out,but the truth is
i need all the practice i can get.i need more than
the remaining we 've left.
need to .be.faster.
sharper, cleaner,emotions clearly displayed on my face pls,
keep my balance,stronger, softer.tuck that fatigue into
places the judges can't see
dancers must die on stage.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007, 7:08 PM
SCHOOL CONFESSIONS
[x] Talked back to a teacher. (a 20minutelong brawl btwn me and mrs chan over the confiscation of my.....BLACK bands.:))
[x] Been kicked out of class. (for coming in late)
[ ] Worn pyjamas to school.
[x] Had your tooth fall out at school. (t'was wobbly and i shook it out during p3 science!)
[x] Gotten lost in your school.(first few days in cj)
[x] Broken the dress code in school.(heh heh)
[x] Completely failed a test. (chemistry today. list is getting looonger now! ;[ )
[x] Left class without asking. (many times!)
[ ] Missed a whole week of school
[x] Thrown up in school. (after bumpy busride from discovery centre.HA baaarfkid.)
[ ] Been beat up at school.
HOME LIFE CONFESSIONS
[x] Argue with your parents a lot. (hardly nowadays. :) )
[] Argue with your brother(s) a lot
[ ] Argue with your sister(s) a lot.
[x] Have your own room. (but i don't sleep in it)
[ ] Do your own laundry.
[ ] Cook dinner once in a while.
[ ] Are loud and obnoxious at home.
[x] Wear pajamas when you are notgoing anywhere. (ALL THE TIME.haahh)
[x] You sleep in very long.
[ ] All you do is watch television.
[ ] Your parents are divorced.
[ ] Your family makes you cry alot.
[ ] One or both of your grandparents live with you.
[ ] You cant stand being with your parents
FRIEND CONFESSIONS
[ ] You currently dislike one or more of your friends.
[ ] You are jealous of one or more of your friends.
[ ] You have known a friend your whole life.
[ ] Your friends are all taller than you.
[ ] You have been ditched by a friend.
[x] You have memorized a friend's phone number.
[x] You have lost/forgotten a friend's phone number.
[ ] You have been to all of your friends houses.
[ ] You love most of your friends.
HABIT CONFESSIONS
[ ] You bite your nails (i peel them off a lot,not bite)
[ ] You have an odd obsession with knives.
[ ] You cannot sleep with the door closed.
[x] You cannot sleep with the door open.
[x] There is at least one sound you cannot stand.
[ ] You write stories about mad cannibalistic serial killers.
[ ] You are good at telling lies. - (i can't look at the person in the eyes when i lie.when i can, i stare too intently into them.)
LOVE CONFESSIONS
[ ] You currently like someone. (HMMMMMMMM.)
[ ] You want to kill one of your exes.
[x] You can stay committed for an unusually long time.
[ ] You get bored of your crush/bf/gf easily.
[ ] A crush/bf/gf has called you a bitch before.
[ ] A crush/bf/gf has called you self-centered before.
PERSONAL OPINION CONFESSIONS
[ ] You hate George Bush.
[x] Abortion is horrible and should be illegal. (okay but there are some exceptions.like rape victims.)
[ ] Gay marriage is fine by you.
[x??] Boys make better friends than girls do. (some boys make better friends than some girls)
[x] The beach is an excellent place for a date.
[x] Pink is an ugly color.
[ ] Needles aren't so horrible.
[ ] Human flesh tastes like fine aged veal.
[ ] You have plenty of secrets. (but many say i look like i do.oh man i can't even think of one.)
HAVE YOU EVER CONFESSIONS
[x] Fallen up the stairs.
[x] Someone has tied your shoelaces together. (but i realized in time!was it yini who did that??)
[x] Had a nail fall off.
[ ] Captured, Manipulated, or Destroyed a soul by Ars Falcis.
[ ] Had surgery.
[x] Slapped someone across the face.
[ ] Killed someone.
[ ] Someone has called you a tease.
[ ] You have been to Europe. (i rly want to though!)
[x] You have worn something inside out for a whole day (HAHA IM NOT TELLING)
__
chem test today was .....dejrhfgyq *&$#*^%(*JF fjhweutghvfr in simpler terms -
horrifying -
kns.HAHA I JUST SPENT AN HOUR ONLINE.
okay yt i'll hve to nerdify you.right.now.
bye!
Monday, April 09, 2007, 11:09 PM
i need a break.it's not a deserved one, but fuck i need one anyway.
hello you,have you seen my rainbow?it's in dualtone.
awwwwwjfkhwdjghfuck.fjewgn.i just feel so ugly inside and outside,unloved,unloving
LAWL....................kns.
__
okay okay that aside, congrats jon,THIRD!YAY
Saturday, April 07, 2007, 11:34 PM
omg ,tday's so blogworthy. <3
so it started off pretty bad, waking up late, feeling groggy(in other words, my days usually start pretty bad)
left hm to get ballet shoes from yamaha(sonata sells shoes thr),wasn't late for 1.45pm meeting in cityhall!
heh heh, way to go ,myself!:)
we walked to Osch,it's location was a little O.O
sm ntuc office building i think.the place was kinda small, but cool.
we even managed to sneakpeek at a 'performance' going on in a ubercool studio!
practice wasn't bad tday, but i was stumped by the new steps.like omg
for the last few steps, i can't sit on my left foot! i'll be like literally pushing the ingrown nail into my flesh.
ZOMG ;[ ive got no choice, gtta stop complaining !
&&& the speed is like RAP-A-TAT-TAT, we all hve to be sonic the hedge hog by syf.
{remember how he becomes a blue ball & zooms from place to place?}
the steps were pretty. BUT THE COSTUME.THE COSTUMEE.
{has fits}
it'll hinder my actions for sure.WHO THE HELL CAN DANCE IN THAT,MAN.
then agn he sent it for further alterations!it didnt turn out the way he wanted it to turn out methinks.
hahaha.okay.
HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY WAS MIND(S) CAFE. {it sounds better with a 's'!!}
haah.i had so much fun with the girls.
we player 'snorter' ,is that the name of the first game we played?
UBER FUNNY. youve to play it man,to understand it. it's pretty hard to type how you play it in here!
to confuse the others, i cleverly came up with the most ridiculous sound for my animal : 'heeee-morh.'
HAHAH.wth! i chose it cus it sounds so frickn horrible,
they might just lose when thr's a need to call out the sound of my animal.(which is when they get the same card as the one on my deck)
HAHA.shooooot despite what i said before, im explaining the how-tos of the game!
><
calanthea's one was 'quack', gwyn's the donkey sound 'hee-orh' ,yz's was 'squeaksqueak'
omg.squeaksqueak doesnt sound daunting at all right,
BUT IT'S THE HARDEST TO SAY.
they got the hang of 'heeeee-morh' within like,2minutes lah.
plus,'heee morh' backfired cus i kept saying 'heemorh' when i shouldnt.LOL
the storytelling game was slow and nearly put us to slp.but sort of tough
cus youve gtta think up true/fake stories.and it allows sharing.
HEH. cool.
the dinosaur one was ULTIMATE I TELL YOU.
omg i laughed SO HARD.
im certain i was the unglammest girl in the whole wide world at that point.{ONLY that point okay!}
you shd see the way yz took the bone,SHE LOOKD SO SO SNEAKY
and how gwyn's jaw dropped when she realized she had no bone.
HAHAHA.it makes me smile, even now!
then cal theyall started laughing cus 'yt omg your laughter,youre so evil lah!'
i couldnt help it! im not evil!just SUPER AMUSED .theyre just too adorable my goodness
okay mind cafe shd become our regular hangout (regular my ass :( :() man!
despite how it is a little pricey for a regular hangout,
hahah. I LOVE YOU GIRLS.
you girls make me feel whooooole again!LMAO
y'knw on my way back hm,
it suddenly felt so easy to walk. like , im feeling so super lightheaded that walking becomes effortless.
hahaha shit so corny.
I LURBB LURB EUU GALFRENZ LOTXX `!~
i hvnt had such mindless awesome fun for a looong time:)
you know.if we hadnt so much on our minds all the time,
we'd be so much happier.
haha i guess during the games,
thr's nothing else in our heads 'cept for 'TWO TWO.THREE THREE!
ONE!WHO WANTS ONE!?!? '
:D
Monday, April 02, 2007, 11:19 PM
finally,
i'd say yes,the rainbow's out ,
take my hand,
here's my heart.
oh why do you,why do you
choose to sleep where clouds are in the way.
, 3:27 PM
i think i lost sm tags alr.
flooded away;[
yize:hmm wht're you talking about, what cupid?
don: MAN stomp the yard was soooo good,you lousy:) i didnt get to watch M&L AAAH.
heart ache.
jiayi: smaart girl:D i miss yooo a lot too.cmon when the whole sudden influx of work eases a little we shall go on s33 outing!{planned by you! :D }
andrea: OMGG haahah you didnt find this myself,did you!:D hows aussie and school thr?
xinrong: HAHAH with the money we make, we can be rich taitais and hve aftrnn tea tgthr!
mel: Oomgash i sooo don't miss ahs uniform hahaha. yours was alright, try hvg mine!
yi(no space here)ni: HAHAHAH ong yi ni :DDDD cj is alright, but im not like,ENJOYING myself. i read jm's blog,yall 're in the same class again!?
aur: ARR i know!it's such a bad habit man.like evryone complains.:( <3
jiayi: im so lazy dammit. asap i pohhmise.;]
wenjun: HEH you looked so cheated man, gullible:) whaaat fun.so much work and cca.__.
mel: HAHAH youre just trying to distract people from your emo voice ,i SO do not look emo.i missed you too hun t'was nice catching up when i visited!
pamela: YES !.of cus i remembered you ,i was baffled, 'why is this girl in the toilet talking to me' hahah until you explained:D yes ive friendstr! i added you on msn alr btws. noopes, no cj dancer knws my blog i think,you random lah! :D:D
cal: hahah i know!im super glad that IT's over also lah.{for you}
then agn.not quite over.
sharon: un emo 's the new black,yo. hi sharon i missed seeing your short hair in sch!as straight as sticks too:)
xinrong: aaaaawww actually i was just kidding when i said t'was a good read
thanks though!<3 flattered!
jiaxiang: how can you ever think that!why'd i forget you lah ahaha you take care too! hey whr're you now?how's your current sch?
school ended at 1, but i've got dance at 5
ouuuuch!
;[
im here to relieve my pain.hahah OMG will any cj tchr happen to read this?
actually im researching for my gp hwk too.just sidetracked FOR A WHILE.
;)
Sunday, April 01, 2007, 2:20 AM
suddenly im not emo anymore & suddenly i've snapped out of it!
:O
suddenly i feel like superwoman and im the coolest girl on earth,
and it feels as though i can fly as high as mynahs and sparrows,
and hey - this had better last.
SUPERMASSIVE - LALAAH I'M A FOOL FOR YOOOOOU?
supermassive homework pile i shall conquer you {or half of you} tomorrow
{maybe about a quarter}
i oughta turn in now!
, 1:37 AM
,i shut my eyes.
i always did the things i was always doing
sometimes it feels like a power has been unleashed,a power which was formerly
caged up in my ribs,
and now it has left to roam my insides.i want it caged again,
or lose it forever,so i don't feel its slight flutter from time to time.
i beg for surcease.
_
my words can twist the new realities into
undecipherable fables,it's unintentional it's unintentional
but i'm the worst kind of sad,biting the inside of my cheeks and locking the
bedroom door.
nothing can happen,i'll dream up my goodbye letters, most of the time i just wait for something to happen.
{usually nothing does}it doesn't take an imagination too vivid to see you ,shifty-eyed
.staring pointedly at your feet which walked their ways in and out of hearts.
with a raised voice i will look deep into you and say my goodbyes vulgarly
quick,explosive speech
what happened to what was planned initially?a slow g-o -o - d- b - y- e,
each letter
slipping past your lips,sinking comfortably into the space where your stomach lies
this comprehension will light up your weary eyes,'this separation is for forever?'
my words has to be carefully sculpted and
transparent,in order for me to see the resignation in your eyes
when you realize it is me you love,and will love for all your life
i guess a few seconds later, you realize your thinly-veined hands can keep me by your side,
so you wave goodbye.
and a sinking sense of finality tugs at my heartstrings from the field outside,from outside this home,
from all the places where you can't possibly exist in.
as i wonder if
self-pity stems from a deepest sympathy,
a watching-from-afar-from-behind-the-line-spectator sort of feeling for myself,
the worst kind of sadness stalk the darkest streets,
infiltrates at will even in the presence of bright light,
_________
{taken from september 2006 posts lawl
a good read,d'tcha think?HAHAH
it has been so long since ive written.
sometimes, it's odd to read smthng written by you,
and how you can still relate to it, in the oddest ways.}
every inch of skin.our cheeks can brush
here.keep still
you roasting hearts,
hello april.