!HELLO SAAAAY.

THE WRITTEN WORD

Thursday, October 21, 2004, 10:02 PM

something i had scrawled onto my winnie-the-pooh pages. untidy.

chaos created love by ripping out the (his,her?) nail, little finger, but i wudnt go into the gory details-- pain.
not completely unfamiliar, when it's so near. too near.
love is not there w/o that bitter sourish bite, warmth that spreads about skin when you blush--- painfully.
the beautifully formed blemish, just there and you cant get rid of it cause you dont want to. your up and working reality call.

it's not gonna let its presence go unheard, nono it wont, why dont you unblock those ears, &hear the sharp withdrawal of breath resounding in that grey matter of your head
again and again?!
why dont you allow yourself to get drawn in as well, caught up with the space brimming with unseen wavelengths differing from something unseen to something else unseen?
it's crucial that you did, i want you there. because im there. and im ALONE. (if that means anything)
i need you with me, with the little pink specks of love (printed all over their swollen chests [with pride])

because crippled feathers cant fly.

avoid that hovering black cloud, haze.. smog. entwined with toxic -blacker- gases, names ranging from failure1, to failure100, called FAILURE. it makes you fail so bad, you'll forget that sweet tasting candy lump-- success.
down, crumpled will be your maths and before you know it, get thrown down into this abyss so dark, with a gate closed with a clang. all sealed up like a ziplock bag performing up to standard.

claustrophobia is getting popular, no doubt.

the papers will have strokes of black ALL OVER
black is hindering my sight
black's a colour, so black's COLOURFUL. dont say im wrong, dont paint me black all over, when black's all i am

and my parents will be coloured with shades of disappointment, hanging loosely like a noose about to be tightened, around my neck
faces all crumpled.
dont leave me to be the black mass to be me.

im afraid of pain, im afraid of failurpointment, black the colour i taste,
love. deadly combination of them all.
im afraid of me, because i feel them. not anymore, but still i do.

time for tv. and consider whetha i shud stay, unmoving, in my home tomorrow, or risk getting out to get shot.

tv's ended. I HATE YOU.
i sneaked 2 batteries from my brother's clutches, howdy har har and it's CAM-WHORE DAY tomorrow!!! whoa FINALLY. it's fantastic, i only hv myself. watch these rolling eyeballs in action! shud i risk steppin out into the wilderness and......
fuckenning. im not bowing down. HELL YA.
see you tomorrow, peeps.