!HELLO SAAAAY.

THE WRITTEN WORD

Friday, December 30, 2005, 7:21 PM

forgotten memories
for instance just now
when my maid auntiemary was dusting
the..uhhms wine bottles &trophies/medals
she held up this singing competition trophy(lolol
twas hosted by macdonalds lyk,when i was.....i dtknw.six?HAH)

..i can rmbr slightly.....vaguely.twas all smokey &thr
was loud music in this...bar/lounge place.
the typical obiang flashing lights.
thr was this small stage &my mom entered me
into the singing section with this girl
arnd my age i knew for about four minutes
the girl's her colleague's daughter
we sang happy birthday LOLS
..wht a selection &we won
yaay.

ohyes.thts all i rmbr..but apparently
my maid told me she was thr too(why,i forgot tht)
present,standing somewhr in the
mass of people,beside my mother.
she said the announcer/djay whoevr was
like passing the mic arnd
asking us for our ambitions,
doing his job.(as if he cared bout us buncha kids..geezums)
auntiemary said,
some said they want to become pilots
doctors
nurses
policemen
actresses
singers
thr were many kids who joined the singing thing
many ambitions..some were repeated.
she said many wanted to be doctors
&pilots.singers.

while i waited for her to tell me
wht i said on the stage,the mic shoved
right into my face..years ago.
i sat in the livin room,
wonderin wht was it i said.but
whtevr i
REALLY HVE NO IDEA.
a doctor?no i nvr wanted to be
one..........actress?huhh.
i hve no real ambition now.so wht
was it i said then?

why,it IS a very strange feeling to hve.
whtevr my maid was going to tell me,was
something i said many years ago,
sth which i can't recall,not at all now.

'barbie.you told the audience that you
wanted to be a barbie doll.'

..unreal.
HAH!
but ..AYE.darn i knew it'd be
sth unexpected
..makes me sad though
why not just some stupid crapambition just like other kids.
a barbie doll?
why so different.
a barbie doll was
a symbol of perfection for me then.&beautiful of course.

why,tht piece of plastic has everything.
a pretty hse,riches,a beautiful family,friends,besotted Ken wrapped arnd her
sleek finger adorned with sparkly rings.
i wonder.was i already aware,at such a tender age,
of the fact tht
i was so flawed
&imperfect?
it sickens me how i can't go back,&ask
the sixyrol'me
'are you happy..sad?even then?but why'
because i can't stop her frm fading away
i can't
remember her &her smile;despite how hard i try

the end of the year is coming so,ohh lets
set aside some time
to try remember what weve long forgotten