!HELLO SAAAAY.

THE WRITTEN WORD

Wednesday, June 28, 2006, 7:30 PM

each time the soft embrace of your gaze drifts elsewhere,
{your eyes were so close to mine - mere centimetres - i thought for a moment that
i could see the very thoughts
sprouting from behind them}
my life plunges by notches in value,seemingly,

& impulsively all i want is to break into bits,just to marvel in sheer delight
at the magic of how only you can fix me.

ive grown weary of assuming,assuming
everything.assuming that what we have is indeed love
,reasoning with doubts that terrorize my entire being
this isn't love like those carefully fabricated in fairytales
nor is it like how i dreamt it to be.
but i tread past nights and days
i realize it doesnt take much,all it takes is to just
feel your skin against mine,

and it strikes me.
love or not,this may be all i need
whatever it is, i'm begging for it to not end.
hear my cries for you to remember me as the girl who kept you warm
no matter how short a while it lasted.

.so silent and sudden it catches you by surprise,
love reveals the hideousness it can mutate into,
{can,and will,}but only if you allow it to
an eternal lifespan of torment brought upon us by our own minds
.misery grips us by the heart,
with each heartwrenching squeeze,
in you i see slight imperfections,
&
that is perfection in my eyes.

____
And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can't be fixed,
and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older,
as you see the people in your life break one by one.
You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it's already happened.
~ Douglas Coupland

this extract is so precious

yes,these days i live my days with only
longing in my head