!HELLO SAAAAY.

THE WRITTEN WORD

Thursday, September 21, 2006, 12:04 AM

i hate feeling like the victim;
somehow{i may be deluded} ,i feel like a victim tonight,
shant take pity on me,
but leaving now is......
don't you realize how i can't afford this loss?

the VERY THOUGHT,'i think by leaving,things won't worsen,
because i'm a jinx.' ,this very thought is the mistake.
if you feel like you caused me anything bad,it is this.
how can you think leaving is the decision to make,
it isn't.
i'm saying that it isn't,we're all saying that it isn't the decision to make, dont our words count?
don't listen to those miserable,misleading thoughts
SHUT THEM OUT SHUT THEM OUT LISTEN TO ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME

you dont care for and love me less than how i care for and love you
so why subject me to this hurt now.
it's trying enough the way it is already,
why can't you just understand that youre blameless.
just accept that youre almost UNINVOLVED in this,
if there's anything,it's because you know us.

believe me,please?
promise youll believe me,please?
i'm telling the truth,please please

PLEASE
PLEASE
PLEASE
PLEASEplease?

i thought i'll heal just fine,though a long,drawn-out process,
the truth is i'm not too sure now.
i feel so broken now.
so that's laughable,plss, which twit says,'i feel so broken now'?
me me me.dont yall always say you want the truth?
want to know what i'm thinking? tonight, i'm thinking;
i'm so broken,i really can't deal with this,i'm not brave enough

i can't please please please please spare me
please please,lines lines lines lines lines lines
please please,theyre almost all gone now.
lines lines lines lines please please please please
why won't everyone just leave me.
you think youre the only one thinking this,no..this aftrnn
i thought about how i couldve saved you from this,by not uttering a word.
if my mouth was kept tightly clamped,none of this would ve....
.
do you find that ridiculous?
but you being a jinx,nthg can beat that.
its the most absurdly wrong thing.

you know.it's easier to leave.i'll just close my eyes as everyone takes their leave
i'll help you by pretending i'm fine.

i'm fine.no,
.i'm really really fine.

once i felt unworthy,
my friend told me,'i don't really think it's up to us to really judge how worthy
or not we are..we may think about it but in the end,
the most important thing is that we be grateful for the love thats given to us
and try to not take it for granted and hurt those people who do find it in their hearts
to love us.'
it was an enormous chunk of words,but evry word made its way to my heart
it IS much easier to be thankful for those who find it in themselves to love me
,i'd rather that than deeming myself unworthy all the time,
and hurting those who love me at the same time.
i wonder if you can get ovr this self-inflicted misery and guilt enough to allow those words to strike you as hard as they struck me.

tonight,youve proved to me what
'sharing my load',and 'telling those whom you trust,as theyll be thr for you' will cause
you think youre weak,you react the way you do,
i think i may be weaker,i think my sanity is in shreds,
i don't know how to react anymore,i dt wnna hve any reaction whtsoevr anymore

leaving may seem like the right thing to do to you,

but to me,it's just.....i hate it so much,it's beyond words.
okay
okay.
okay no more 'please's okay
i'll shut my eyes as everyone takes their leave
i'll help you by pretending i'm fine,alright,sweet girlfie.

i'm fine.no,
.i'm really really fine.
tell someone?whatevr for?there is no need for such hassle
,for i'm fine.i'm really really fine.