!HELLO SAAAAY.

THE WRITTEN WORD

Friday, September 22, 2006, 2:09 AM

my words can twist the new realities into
undecipherable fables,it's unintentional it's unintentional
but i'm the worst kind of sad,biting the inside of my cheeks and locking the
bedroom door.
nothing can happen,i'll dream up my goodbye letters, most of the time i just wait for something to happen.
{usually nothing does}it doesn't take an imagination too vivid to see you ,shifty-eyed
.staring pointedly at your feet which walked their ways in and out of hearts.

with a raised voice i will look deep into you and say my goodbyes vulgarly
quick,explosive speech
what happened to what was planned initially?a slow g-o -o - d- b - y- e,
each letter
slipping past your lips,sinking comfortably into the space where your stomach lies
this comprehension will light up your weary eyes,'this separation is for forever?'
my words has to be carefully sculpted and
transparent,in order for me to see the resignation in your eyes
when you realize it is me you love,and will love for all your life

i guess a few seconds later, you realize your thinly-veined hands can keep me by your side,
so you wave goodbye.

and a sinking sense of finality tugs at my heartstrings from the field outside,from outside this home,
from all the places where you can't possibly exist in.
as i wonder if
self-pity stems from a deepest sympathy,
a watching-from-afar-from-behind-the-line-spectator sort of feeling for myself,

the worst kind of sadness stalk the darkest streets,
infiltrates at will even in the presence of bright light,

_
puhs sometimes i get so fricking scary i wonder if i suffer from mild depression.l.o.l
tht'll suck.but it'll explain things,at least
still,that sounds so much like a medical condition that i dont wish to find out.
'teenage angst' is an understatement.
tonight,i remembered that i forgot about photography;how caan i!maybe channeling some pent-up energy to snapping away
will help.expect some kickass shots soon anywaay{........uh.:D}

i just want everyone,everything to be fine again.
:[

prelims are over and knowing the results will be unbearable.
pft....!.uh i dtknw how long to olvls olvls,
i mean, how shorrrrrt to olvls,it's KERRRAYZEEE.
it'll be here in a flash.rejuvenate yaselves with some rest if you deserve it people,
for those who do not deserve rest,
rest anyway.

apologies don't mean a thing when there's no need for them
in the very first place,silly.

i just want everything to be crazy-normal again.which is fine.
fine is crazy-normal.
not this.